Oh, honey! I would give anything to be able to reach through the Time Space Continuum and pat 14-Year-Old Me on the head and tell her how adorable all those concepts are. Then I would bitch slap her right across her face for being such a moron.
Clearly being an adult is absolutely nothing like we thought it was going to be when we were in high school. This is not a progressive notion. We all discovered what it takes to get and keep decent jobs (and what counts as a decent job for that matter), pay bills, feed ourselves on our own dollar, make our paychecks last more than a single weekend, develop and maintain quality relationships and maybe even start our own families. Figuring out all these things basically comes down to one glaringly obvious reality that shatters all the delusions we had of what adulthood would be like when we were kids:
Growing up means doing a lot of shit you really don't want to do!
Think about that for a minute. How much of your adult life is spent doing things that you genuinely do not want to do? 50%? 75%? 99.5%? For some of you, the only thing you do in your day that you actually want to do is sleep! See, I'm slightly more selfish than those people. I haven't quite reached the adult milestone of children of my own yet so I am afforded a larger percentage of my day that I can do things that I actually want to do. I'm writing this blog, for example. However I acknowledge the many things that I very much dislike doing that I just need to suck it up and do because I am a goddamn grown up!
There are an alarming number of "grown ups" these days that haven't really gotten their minds around this concept yet. I see so many people my age that have wrapped themselves so tightly in their denial Snuggies that I truly fear for them. I actually picture these people hiding under a blanket and throwing an actual tantrum , proclaiming loudly, "NO! I DON'T WANNA!" I really do wonder what is going to happen when they reach the age of 35 or 40 when it becomes impossible to hide from that shit anymore.
A recent example of this arose when I made an attempt to get Brandon to start working out with me. I've taken a few swings at this in the past to no avail. A few years ago I got him to complete the first 60 days of P90X and he was psyched about his results. Since then it has been a series of frustrating conversations resulting in my exhaling heavily and giving up. One such conversation took place the other morning. We were sitting in the living room drinking coffee and watching some mindless crap on TV. It was a pretty nasty rainy day and I could tell that if I didn't suggest an activity pretty soon it would be an entire day of Netflix and Candy Crush. The idea made me want to vomit so I told him about a new workout I had been doing that I thought would be fun if he tried it with me. He was not receptive. Somehow we ended up in a very heated discussion about how he hates to exercise.
"I'm not like you. I can't stand working out," he huffs with his eyes fixed on his laptop.
"What do you mean? You think I get out on the trail and skip and laugh my way through the 3 mile course thinking, 'this is so much fun! I wish I could do this all day! La la la!'?!
"That would be pretty funny," he snorts.
"No! I don't run until I damn near fall over because it's super fun. I don't wake up in the morning and get excited about all the push-ups, squats and burpees I get to do that day. Working out is not something I really want to do. I do it because I like how I feel after it's done! I like being in shape. I like being healthy." I can feel myself getting a little shouty. I can't help it. This man is 30-years-old and is basically crossing his arms, sticking out his bottom lip and saying "I don't wanna!"
"I just really don't like exercising. Running is stupid. Why do you want me to do it so bad?"
"So what?" I can't believe I even have to explain this to him. "You're just not going to do it? Is that how it works? I want you to do it because it is a good think to be healthy."
I start speaking in a slow deliberate tone that admittedly is a bit condescending, but I'm really frustrated at this point.
"You are 30. There are measures that need to be taken to remain healthy as you get older. I'm sorry but I don't want to get fat and lazy and I would rather you not do that either."
"I just really hate working out," he grumbles, still fixated on whatever dumb shit is on his computer screen and I'm about 6 seconds away from kicking that thing into the wall.
"Do it anyway!" I yell. I can't take this conversation any further. I am not reasoning with someone who is in the mindset that if you don't wanna you don't hafta... He never did work out with me that day.
In Brandon's defense there are only a few things that he gets this kind of attitude towards. He is a very hardworking man who takes care of his responsibilities very well. Which is why it makes it difficult for me to understand why he would revert to such an adolescent mentality. If he could have debated the whole relatively minor issue of maintaining good fitness in a way that used reason instead of repeating "I don't want to" over and over I may not have gotten so pissed off.
There are so many members of our generation out there that have much more intense cases of the "I Don't Wanna"s. To these people I really want to say: "Grow up and act your age, kiddo! That means doing a whole lot of shit you don't want to do. Yeah, it sucks. It ain't nothing like we thought it was going to be, but get over it!"
Now I gotta go to work...
